I was coming off a dating fast after a string of bad decisions and distractions. In person was not working out for me, so I decided to get on Hinge. I was not super excited because I had always wanted that meet-cute moment. After a few months on the app and minimal success, Ryan and I started talking. His profile said he was Catholic and a college athlete (which was always a secret desire of mine, but God is so good and knows our desires). After about 2 weeks of talking, I invited him over to hangout and watch TV. I open the door, and he has his backpack on. Which was weird since there was no discussion of anything that would require a backpack. He had brought his math homework. Weird, but I let him work on it while I watched FRIENDS. Slowly, I inched my way over to see if I could help. After that night, I wasn't sure if he would still be interested, but he texted me the following morning as though he had not just spent the night needing my help with his homework.

A week later, he asked me out. We were both coming from school, which apparently meant different things to us. I had brought this cute romper and heels to change into and did my hair and makeup in the morning. This man showed up in basketball shorts and an ASU t-shirt. A little concerned that he appeared to put ZERO effort into a first date impression, I still tried to keep an open mind.

Given my past relationships and who I am as a person, I was very up front with him about my situation. We exchanged pleasantries and then I went straight into my pitch. "I am in the Air Force, and they are putting me through school. I owe them 4 years of service after I do my residency (still undecided at the time). That comes out to about 10 years where you would have to be ok with following me wherever I match and then get stationed." A hard sell for a first date. I was pretty sure that would be the end of that, but after about 30 seconds, he said, "Ok. Sounds like fun." Absolutely astonished. All I needed now was for him to fall in love with me.

Shortly after, I went to San Diego with my friends, and we went to mass at Our Lady of the Rosary. After communion, I decided to finally ask God his opinion on the relationship. *for context, previous guys had always elicited a nauseous pit in my stomach when that question was asked, and I was expecting nothing less* As I knelt there, I asked God if Ryan was the one He intended for me. I waited to feel that sadly familiar pit for the umpteenth time, but it never came. Instead, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace. Shocked by this turn of events, the words "are you sure" were uttered to the Creator of All. Peace. I thought I asked the question wrong or maybe Jesus was tired or didn't understand the question. I re-focused and channeled St. Augustine as best I could. "Oh my God, I love you. I want to want what you have planned for me. I feel called to the vocation of marriage. Is Ryan going to help me get to heaven?" Surely that would clear up this confusion. Peace.

From MY point of view, our story starts with two people in very different worlds. My life was experiencing many changes and important decisions - like going back to school and starting over, as well as doubling down on myself and leaving my current job to pursue my calling in cyber security. This should probably tell you a lot about my love life at the time. Not much time for it. Nobody seems to have time for it anymore, it seems to just happen these days randomly. Well, that’s exactly what happened with Mary.

I had depressingly tried in person dating briefly and struck out. Online dating with hinge was the last resort to find a suitable partner. We just won’t discuss why I needed to make these dating app decisions in the first place. I ultimately concluded that I needed to find a faith driven partner for the first time in my life, and that was the biggest reason why I think God lead me down the right path to the woman of my dreams.

Mary was my first match on hinge. She was very intelligent, beautiful, and had a smile that was spell binding. Thankfully, as I was hoping, we matched and started talking. For about two weeks I tried to play it cool. Which for me was very difficult given that I could already see our lives together (totally normal behavior at this point clearly). Then she invited me over to her place. To avoid scaring her off, I had to change up my game plan. Instead of trying to woo her with my charm and good looks, I decided it was best to do something “responsible” or “mature” like completing my homework! She’s smart right? She will get it…well…one thing true of all Petersen’s…especially Mary, is the smack talk is elite. She was almost too intelligent; she offered to help me with my homework. Embarrassingly, I finished the homework quickly and started watching friends with her.

The following week, I asked Mary out on a real date…not as my study buddy in case you were curious. The date was set for after school. Being the much younger, less well put together version of myself went to school, completely unprepared for the evening. I just showed up as though everything was fine. That was, until I arrived and saw her, she was wearing a beautiful white with blue flowers romper, heels, and all the accented jewelry to complete the outfit as if she had just come back from a spa day in Scottsdale. Her hair was completely done up with curls and she had perfectly complementary make up on that brightened her aurora. It was stunning. Myself? I thought Nike shorts and a t-shirt was appropriate for every occasion.

The only concerning thing from this clearly GREAT first date, was the negotiation going on before dinner had even started. Mary gave her 10-year proposed timeline for completing school paid for by the military and the years of service to follow. This, although intriguing and to most people probably a deal breaker, to me sounded like the adventure of a lifetime. I pondered it for all of five seconds and said….”OK”. The look on her face was priceless. It's as though she just sold her first Lamborghini and was receiving a 25% commission.

For those of you who don’t know, I am a man of faith and prayer. I have a long way to go in my knowledge of the Catholic faith, but I remember vividly when Mary and I went to mass for the first time at the All Saints Catholic Newman Center at ASU. I walked inside the church with her and was feeling immediate peace. I remember for the first time, holding her hand in church, and I was struck by this immense peace and ease about the connection we shared. It wasn’t just a blazing fire, it felt…right. We have been long distance for a considerable amount of our relationship. It has been incredibly hard, but I always think of that moment of prayer with Mary that brings me back. No matter what was going on or the theme of the day, I had her back. Part of the reason we work so well, is because we heal each other. We aren’t perfect but we are perfect for each other. This is the foundation of our love for each other and its ever growing stronger each and every day. Now three years later, (finally) I made a commitment to Mary in front of God in her home church, SSJ. That is how it all came to be.